These are all very lovely and supportive comments. I'm just here to say that at, 44 I'm the heaviest I've ever been and it's all piling around the middle. I've always been a very hourglass shape but recently, the hour glass bit is blurring and I'm more cylindrical.... I've cut out booze, but sadly have compensated by eating a huge variety of crap. I'm finding I am hiding from photos and so on because of it which is just sad. So over the summer I'm ditching sugar as well and increasing protein in the hope it makes a difference.
Try reducing simple carbs (bought bread, crisps, potatoes, pasta) for complex carbs (anything that makes you fart, basically, because your digestion is working much harder on them) like lentils and chick peas. They seem so worthy 70s vegetarian, but look at any Middle Eastern cookbook and it's so much more delicious! Almost all legumes in glass jars, rather than in tins, will have added salt , giving them flavour, so go for those unless you have a salt intolerance.
I have just returned from John Lewis trying to find some work clothes that don't leave me feeling like I hate myself. But I did manage to find a couple of tops (I did try on a ton of stuff), and the two things that purchased were just T-shirts but of a pricier brand (Mint Velvet) and they fit so much better than the cheaper ones I tried.
I’m in Greece on holiday at a hotel at the moment full of British and German families and can report that 80% of the women over 40 have fairly round tummies and so far no-one has been sick or fainted at the sight of these women (me included) in their swimming cozzies or bikinis. Confidence is key!
Second this. Have just been to a very Greek bit of Greece and no Greek woman gives a single fuck about what she looks like in a bikini. It is fantastic for one's morale.
I discovered Scarlett and Jo dresses. Great colours and patterns that help me to say “This is 56 and I am here to claim space”. I like their maxi dresses, as I have scarring on one leg and I don’t like to show it, and the dresses cover that without having to wear tights on hot days. Good luck!
Totally agree with this and all the comments. Massive amounts of stress and anti-depressants have made me pile on the weight - gave up booze but it didn't change anything - despite doing a lot of exercise (lots of long distance running, so maybe the wrong type of exercise?). But I am currently in the life is too short camp and think we need to do what makes us happy, and dressing well for our body shapes can do that. One question about pants that hold you in - i had some from M&S that actually made me feel quite sick like they were pressing in on my organs or something - is this normal? Any recommendations for ones that don't feel life threatening just to give me a better silhouette?!
Packhorse, it’s not just you - every pair I’ve tried have made me feel ill - I’ve given up and just try to wear fabrics/styles that gloss over rather than flatten. My other disappointment with Spanx etc is that of course the wobbly bits don’t actually leave, they just get flattened down so everywhere else just looks a little bit fatter… not sure if I’d call that a win??
I've always assumed they just sqodge everything els up under your armpits and have left well alone on that basis. Thank you for confirming my suspicions!
As one of the (presumably) few men subscribing to The Spike* I certainly can't provide any useful insight on what to wear.
For your reader, though, there was a really interesting section in Louise Newson's book about discussing and normalising (peri) menopause with family that might be useful in the context of conversations about food.
*Esther, I am so very grateful for the regular stream of birthday / Christmas present ideas. You've saved me untold hours of angst-ily traipsing around shops looking for something suitable.
Equally, this may well be as facile a comment as anything I could say about clothing, but it might be a good book recommendation for husbands out there!
Alex I can feel you getting quite stressed. Don't worry, we don't bite. I am pleased you find the gift guide useful! I must update it fully this year as it's getting a bit samey.
Definitely struggling with this problem as well, I cling to this hope - I remember suddenly noticing that my very slim 50ish mum had a big tummy...and then it had gone again at 60, so something maybe levelled out over time with eg hormones? I never noticed any change in her eating habits.
Agree with all the high waisted jeans and trousers comment, I also like to have a dress with a belt that I can position where I want as I have a long torso and a big tummy (from twins!), this way I can position a wide fabric or normal belt to cover and structure most of the problem area at the height I want. Also, in terms of swimwear I find that a once peice with some kind of low back the most flattering, the higher back ones (say just below shoulder height) give the impression of a barrelly midriff from the side as is all fabric, the low back seems to break it up a bit (if this makes sense!)
Just watched this video. I was impressed with her styling tips for the tummy area. Will be giving it a try! I’m a size 10 with a pot belly but very slim everywhere else. Difficult to get trousers & skirts to fit that don’t swamp me everywhere else. I’m 62 and have been this shape my whole life. I eat extremely well & exercise. It’s just the way I am sized, so am grateful for the tips everyone is posting x
Super helpful suggestions here as I am on day 1 of my first attempt at 5:2 intermittent fasting! Age 52, 5’2”, have added 10lb over the last 12 months without changing anything and actually probably being more active. All around my middle. I live in S Florida so at least there’s a lot of curvy Latina body shapes around but that doesn’t help at all when I just want to fit into my existing
I NEVER had a fat tummy until I started taking an industrial strength dose of Zoloft to get through…everything and it made me pack on the pounds. I found Gap elastic waist dresses very good and flattering, also shift dresses with a giant linen shirt slung over the top. Basically a giant linen shirt slung over everything and worn unbuttoned.
These are all very lovely and supportive comments. I'm just here to say that at, 44 I'm the heaviest I've ever been and it's all piling around the middle. I've always been a very hourglass shape but recently, the hour glass bit is blurring and I'm more cylindrical.... I've cut out booze, but sadly have compensated by eating a huge variety of crap. I'm finding I am hiding from photos and so on because of it which is just sad. So over the summer I'm ditching sugar as well and increasing protein in the hope it makes a difference.
Try reducing simple carbs (bought bread, crisps, potatoes, pasta) for complex carbs (anything that makes you fart, basically, because your digestion is working much harder on them) like lentils and chick peas. They seem so worthy 70s vegetarian, but look at any Middle Eastern cookbook and it's so much more delicious! Almost all legumes in glass jars, rather than in tins, will have added salt , giving them flavour, so go for those unless you have a salt intolerance.
I have just returned from John Lewis trying to find some work clothes that don't leave me feeling like I hate myself. But I did manage to find a couple of tops (I did try on a ton of stuff), and the two things that purchased were just T-shirts but of a pricier brand (Mint Velvet) and they fit so much better than the cheaper ones I tried.
I’m in Greece on holiday at a hotel at the moment full of British and German families and can report that 80% of the women over 40 have fairly round tummies and so far no-one has been sick or fainted at the sight of these women (me included) in their swimming cozzies or bikinis. Confidence is key!
Second this. Have just been to a very Greek bit of Greece and no Greek woman gives a single fuck about what she looks like in a bikini. It is fantastic for one's morale.
I discovered Scarlett and Jo dresses. Great colours and patterns that help me to say “This is 56 and I am here to claim space”. I like their maxi dresses, as I have scarring on one leg and I don’t like to show it, and the dresses cover that without having to wear tights on hot days. Good luck!
Totally agree with this and all the comments. Massive amounts of stress and anti-depressants have made me pile on the weight - gave up booze but it didn't change anything - despite doing a lot of exercise (lots of long distance running, so maybe the wrong type of exercise?). But I am currently in the life is too short camp and think we need to do what makes us happy, and dressing well for our body shapes can do that. One question about pants that hold you in - i had some from M&S that actually made me feel quite sick like they were pressing in on my organs or something - is this normal? Any recommendations for ones that don't feel life threatening just to give me a better silhouette?!
Packhorse, it’s not just you - every pair I’ve tried have made me feel ill - I’ve given up and just try to wear fabrics/styles that gloss over rather than flatten. My other disappointment with Spanx etc is that of course the wobbly bits don’t actually leave, they just get flattened down so everywhere else just looks a little bit fatter… not sure if I’d call that a win??
I've always assumed they just sqodge everything els up under your armpits and have left well alone on that basis. Thank you for confirming my suspicions!
As one of the (presumably) few men subscribing to The Spike* I certainly can't provide any useful insight on what to wear.
For your reader, though, there was a really interesting section in Louise Newson's book about discussing and normalising (peri) menopause with family that might be useful in the context of conversations about food.
I bought the book in an effort to educate myself. It was definitely an interesting & informative read - for me, at least. (https://www.foyles.co.uk/book/the-definitive-guide-to-the-perimenopause-and-menopause/dr-louise-newson/9781399705172)
*Esther, I am so very grateful for the regular stream of birthday / Christmas present ideas. You've saved me untold hours of angst-ily traipsing around shops looking for something suitable.
Equally, this may well be as facile a comment as anything I could say about clothing, but it might be a good book recommendation for husbands out there!
Alex I can feel you getting quite stressed. Don't worry, we don't bite. I am pleased you find the gift guide useful! I must update it fully this year as it's getting a bit samey.
Bloody menopause tummy when paired with big boobs = I am in shape. The shape is called 'round'.
Definitely struggling with this problem as well, I cling to this hope - I remember suddenly noticing that my very slim 50ish mum had a big tummy...and then it had gone again at 60, so something maybe levelled out over time with eg hormones? I never noticed any change in her eating habits.
Agree with all the high waisted jeans and trousers comment, I also like to have a dress with a belt that I can position where I want as I have a long torso and a big tummy (from twins!), this way I can position a wide fabric or normal belt to cover and structure most of the problem area at the height I want. Also, in terms of swimwear I find that a once peice with some kind of low back the most flattering, the higher back ones (say just below shoulder height) give the impression of a barrelly midriff from the side as is all fabric, the low back seems to break it up a bit (if this makes sense!)
I absolutely
Just watched this video. I was impressed with her styling tips for the tummy area. Will be giving it a try! I’m a size 10 with a pot belly but very slim everywhere else. Difficult to get trousers & skirts to fit that don’t swamp me everywhere else. I’m 62 and have been this shape my whole life. I eat extremely well & exercise. It’s just the way I am sized, so am grateful for the tips everyone is posting x
Super helpful suggestions here as I am on day 1 of my first attempt at 5:2 intermittent fasting! Age 52, 5’2”, have added 10lb over the last 12 months without changing anything and actually probably being more active. All around my middle. I live in S Florida so at least there’s a lot of curvy Latina body shapes around but that doesn’t help at all when I just want to fit into my existing
clothes…
Me & Em jeans - very expensive - watch for sales - but excellent cut and denim - sits well and doesn’t do that hideous thing that too stretchy denim does over the tummy - something like this is good - also reasonably on trend cuts, but not too trendy https://www.meandem.com/frayed-hem-relaxed-straight-crop-jean-light-blue-wash?glCountry=GB&glCurrency=GBP
Cos also v good for fit & structure with comfortable, flattering shapes
I NEVER had a fat tummy until I started taking an industrial strength dose of Zoloft to get through…everything and it made me pack on the pounds. I found Gap elastic waist dresses very good and flattering, also shift dresses with a giant linen shirt slung over the top. Basically a giant linen shirt slung over everything and worn unbuttoned.
We
Here for the answers, love from a postpartum umbilical hernia ✨