A note from a reader, which pierced me to the heart:
I’m hoping you can write a piece on this very major high-brow issue - dealing with the overnight appearance of belly fat in one’s late 40s. I feel that you and your readership community will be excellent with this. I’m not naive enough to hope for a magical solution a la happy mammoth etc but what I would LOVE is some advice on how to dress when your entire body shape changes despite having changed nothing in your diet and lifestyle at all, and/or how to not care about it, especially when everyone in your immediate and extended family doesn’t appear to have this problem so you can’t blame it on genetics (that last part might be just my issue….). For context I’m a size 12 and now have such a thick layer of wobbly belly fat that anything tight looks dreadful and anything loose looks also dreadful. Please help!
She goes on:
This part adds some complexity which is probably familiar to many mothers my age. I know what would help - no carbs in the evening, reduced fat in my meals etc - however. I have three children at home, one of whom is a teenage girl who eats well and balanced now, but has previously shown concerning signs around food. So I am very big on modelling, eating the same meal together as a family (mostly from Emily English’s So Good, high recommend). I am 100% convinced this is essential, but it’s a challenge to the type of eating I probably need to do to stay healthy myself.
I mean… aren’t we all living some version of this life?
My only paltry bits of advice are: start with your underwear. A really sturdy pair of pants, some that go up to your navel, a great bra.
And get clothes that fit properly. I have had to say goodbye to some items that just don’t fit any more and wearing them I look like Humpty Dumpty; no amount of intermittent fasting or chocolate-refusal is going to get me back into them.
Another note, which I sent to the reader directly, is that it doesn’t sound to me like she is eating unhealthily. Packing on a bit of weight in your late 40s I think is probably pretty normal and thus, not unhealthy. Or am I talking straight out of my fat bottom?
Anyway - this was an appeal to the community, not just to me. Are you also trying to dress a mid-life, fat tummy? Have you found anything that works? Please help us all out by leaving a comment in the handy box below.
p.s. I don’t think Happy Mammoth works and I find their marketing slurry about shedding 5lb of fat in 4 weeks etc a bit mendacious.
My suggestion would be dresses that are cut with a high waist so they hit at the lowest ribs, and then flare out. That way you still get a recognisably female shape but without paunch.
Also, buy fewer clothes but spend more on them. Your enemy is now cheap fabrics where the lack of precision in the fit is remedied by adding stretch. Higher waisted jeans are great if the denim is properly thick, but cheaper stretch denim will just bulge.
I truly do not think that there is a single thing on the internet that has ever made me feel more seen than this post and these comments.