Jeff Dahmer glasses
you *do* want some
My son is a voracious - and surprisingly responsible - consumer of YouTube. He favours motormouth male broadcasters and so his rota of cultural references is quite sophisticated. We get a lot of sarcastic jokes about “the IMF”, “JFK” and critiques of various conspiracy theories. And then recently, he started talking about Jeff Dahmer.
It rang a bell. Jeff Dahmer, Jeff Dahmer… who is that? I wondered as I poked at something in a pan at the stove and listened to Sam rattling on at me in that practised know-it-all tone that YouTubers use. (He likes to try out new material on me before taking it on a tour of his baffled classmates because I am his harshest critic.)
I googled Jeff Dahmer and went OH MY GOD…! I must have those glasses. My friend Jane Suitor has worn these kind of glasses for years - she works in art and is therefore many years ahead of all curves - and when I first saw her wearing them c.2013 I really didn’t understand why such a sophisticated woman was wearing these creepy-70s-maths-teacher smokey-tinted specs. Now I understand.
But, finally hip to this vibe, can I find a good pair anywhere? Non. I was furthermore enraged when that shoddy clip-joint Rouje showed me their new collection featuring a model wearing such a pair of glasses but DID NOT ACTUALLY SELL THEM. This is the worst, like when in the details of a photoshoot the one thing you actually want is “model’s own”.
Although I mostly stay off all social media because it makes me depressed then paranoid, I did decide to complain on IG about this and was rewarded with a host of other places to find these sorts of specs. I tend not to recommend things to buy here too much because I want to encourage everyone to believe that they are enough as they are, but the many responses I got to this told me that these glasses are definitely A Thing, and so I am sharing the recommendations with you.
These last ones are for American readers only, (I do have some! Hello?) as they are from a US supplier who do not ship to the UK :(
Pair no. 3 would make me look EXACTLY like my mother from c.1975-1990. In fact they are probably still in a drawer somewhere (my mother died over a decade ago …). Mind you, looking like my mother might be an improvement on my existing specs which I thought were great, nice tortoiseshell, comfy on the ears, good proportions - until I realised I look EXACTLY like this in them: 🤓. Ok, I exaggerate. I’m less yellow.
My husband has a pair of cheapos for reading in bed and he looks like Michael Gove in his. Not a groovy household, ours.
Totally agreeI have two slightly different pairs now. I saw the first pair on a trendy girl running a children’s holiday club and promptly bought some similar on my return. They were Oliver peoples…I felt amazing in them and then my cousin said wow Kojak glasses. Only you can pull those off ! this didn’t faze me. This was 2019 and a lot of my friends thought I looked very maths teacher too. Cut to this summer… I bought an even bigger pair of gucci silver ones and I love them apart from one morning filling the kettle and my reflection looked like Albert finney in Erin brockovich. So as long as I don’t look in the kettle wearing them I feel great. I try to think Lynda carter Wonder Woman rather than Dahmer serial killer….although Dennis Nielsen had a similar pair too I think 🤔