Now I hang around the gate to whichever godforsaken rainswept and mud sodden arena has been selected for that day's torture, having driven a stroppy teenager there in what could pass for a UPS van with the joyful prospect of driving her back to look forward to. I don't know what I'd do without my fellow Pony Club mothers to grumble with.
No one gets to go on holiday, especially in the summer because you *might* qualify for something and it would be *the end of the world* if a holiday clashed with it.
I picked up my son the other week and it was raining. I am fine with raining. I never take an umbrella anywhere. I like rain. A large man with a silly umbrella told me I had to stand under his whilst we waited for our children. I politely declined but his sense of worth would not have it. I was already irritated by having to a, make conversation and b, stand so close to someone else. Within 2 minutes, this man had told me that last winter they went on a skiing holiday to Canada that cost them 15K. I remarked that that was an awful lot of money, which is presumably what he wanted me to say, and left him under his floral covering. I stood back in the rain thinking what a tosser he was, how poor I am and that maybe I will buy an umbrella so I don’t have to talk to strangers about their holidays.
Esther I read this in the taxi to the airport after a holiday with 2 small children. There were some lovely moments but jeeeez it was hard work, not helped by the crazy rain, storms and flash flooding in Spain. We are home now and will be staycationing for the near future. I am exhausted.
On the flip side of the school gate scenario- my kids do BF and afterschool club because of work, so I’m never there for pickup, which brings a different level of strangeness. I am the mum who relies on the ones who remember everything in the WhatsApp, I read the emails but it all seems to instantly fall out of my brain.
The thing that gets me about the WhatsApp groups (I still have one, FINAL child at primary) is when people post saying “so and so has lost his/her cricket bat/violin/netball skort/pencil case/pritt stick, does anyone have it?” and then someone responds “no, we haven’t got it”…..!!!! I mean, WTAF Wendy? If you haven’t got it, please STFU and stay off the godforsaken WhatsApp! Jesus wept it annoys me. The thread which could have been one message in length, is now 12 scrolls deep! Really glad to be away from it for a week. Roll on year 7.
This is so funny and spot-on. I also travel for work so have enough of it and just want to be home. We live in London and there are a million amazing things to do, or not. This reminds me also of how I used to obsess over restaurants (like holidays) and now just want to go back to the same five, with the occasional adventure to another part of London.
This made me laugh as (i) my son calls it Wuh Huh Smith (as in phonetically pronouncing the W and H) and (ii) I’ve just booked a holiday today for Oct half term 2025 after being Team UK holidays since our last sunny abroad holiday in Easter 2022 and getting fed up of being cold and doing all the cooking…
I have absolutely asked people their holiday plans twice in a week at the school gate. Mortifying! There are so many people doing different pickups on different days and I try not to be cliquey.
Partially I ask about holidays as it is very easy conversation but have also found some total hidden gems: places like Center Parcs but posher or cheaper, what to do if you actually hate skiing, which holidays spending much more money on gives you a much better time (Disney), what to save for teenage years when they will be less enthusiastic.
We moved due to my husbands job (vicar) from a very middle class primary school with a lots of social pressure and a disaster WhatsApp group to an excellent state primary in a really deprived area, it was like night and day. Loads of clear communication from school, children encouraged to sort their own stuff out and advocate for themselves. The school gate was also pretty chill with a bit of small talk and mostly people keeping themselves to themselves.
This is very true! But how to escape the endless curated “updates” on Instagram???
I’m deep in primary school territory but friends with secondary school tell me WhatsApp groups persist with equal levels of stupidity / repetition. Sub-groups of people you can stomach and eyes down at pick up / drop offs are my survival strategies. Also, make some all-inclusive, 3* friends. Holiday updates normally more amusing and often involve injuries and alcohol poisoning. My kind of Costa.
Yes to this. It’s not school gate pressure on the holidays, it’s the social media- feels like everyone is on lovely holidays all the time. That said, I don’t ever post on the socials so I can’t really complain
It was a lifeline when it was there but now that the youngest is y10 it's years since I've had to be at one and I don't miss it. I was lucky in the most part to avoid the what's app group which wasn't even a thing for the elder two. I suffered from working mum guilt though so went to a PTA meeting in Reception with my eldest and was sucked in for what felt like forever. PTAs get a lot of rap but we raised 10s of 000s of pounds for our school mostly by selling alcohol to parents. It's the same people who volunteer for everything (at whatever stage in life - you either are a volunteer-er or you're not and that's ok) but that's fine as long as others shell out the cash.
As for holidays I worked with someone whose primary age kids had ranked their favourite Aman resorts and another whose uni aged "marxist" son has a preferred Business class seat on planes. I on the other hand make mine go to the same Welsh cabin every year.
One more thing re groups - there are people that I know moved away/moved schools years ago and they're still on the groups! WHY? surely it's boring AF, our groups certainly aren't a hotbed of gossip and drama.
We had this, some people remained on the group for so long they had to be asked to leave or be removed for safeguarding reasons! I mean why stay on even more what’s app groups? Some people must just love it
This made me smile because I am actually in Iceland with my family. Even though it’s £30 for a coffee and a cake it’s still better value than £8k for some hotel in Italy where I would lie by the pool overeating and thinking I could have a new downstairs toilet for this.
I was amused to see my son watching other parents on the plane. They were insisting on their children practising times tables and spellings out loud for an hour. At one point my boy leant over to me, put down his bag of sour patch kids and kissed me on the arm. I’m taking that win all day long ❤️
My school WhatsApp was a life saver…Our class rep was Phillip greens PA. Really lovely lady - hard as nails and super organised. She was amazing and always reminded us of all the dress up days etc. I was one of those crap mums who couldn’t remember anything.
I have a 2.5 year old and I’m already dreading the school politics. As an introvert it’s my worst nightmare and the fear that you dont want your kids to miss out on friendships if you dont make the effort.
Please can you do a post about how to navigate children’s parties as that is already freaking me out. A friend’s 6 year old got taken to the cinema in a limousine and then 30 kids taken to pizza express afterwards and the mum made everyone a customised snack box 💸
I'll disagree slightly with the posters above and say that some effort is important and actually quite nice. I'm a massive introvert and found school gate far easier than baby/ toddler years. If your child has a friendship issue it is nice for the parents to know that you are perfectly nice/ normal and can sort out any issues in a friendly way. Generally I spoke to people about how nice I thought their children were, then the holidays topic or something about the school lost property system (where is it all going?!). Also, all parents and children are as happy being occupied in a church hall above something fancy.
I swapped the school gates for Pony Club.
Now I hang around the gate to whichever godforsaken rainswept and mud sodden arena has been selected for that day's torture, having driven a stroppy teenager there in what could pass for a UPS van with the joyful prospect of driving her back to look forward to. I don't know what I'd do without my fellow Pony Club mothers to grumble with.
No one gets to go on holiday, especially in the summer because you *might* qualify for something and it would be *the end of the world* if a holiday clashed with it.
I picked up my son the other week and it was raining. I am fine with raining. I never take an umbrella anywhere. I like rain. A large man with a silly umbrella told me I had to stand under his whilst we waited for our children. I politely declined but his sense of worth would not have it. I was already irritated by having to a, make conversation and b, stand so close to someone else. Within 2 minutes, this man had told me that last winter they went on a skiing holiday to Canada that cost them 15K. I remarked that that was an awful lot of money, which is presumably what he wanted me to say, and left him under his floral covering. I stood back in the rain thinking what a tosser he was, how poor I am and that maybe I will buy an umbrella so I don’t have to talk to strangers about their holidays.
Esther I read this in the taxi to the airport after a holiday with 2 small children. There were some lovely moments but jeeeez it was hard work, not helped by the crazy rain, storms and flash flooding in Spain. We are home now and will be staycationing for the near future. I am exhausted.
On the flip side of the school gate scenario- my kids do BF and afterschool club because of work, so I’m never there for pickup, which brings a different level of strangeness. I am the mum who relies on the ones who remember everything in the WhatsApp, I read the emails but it all seems to instantly fall out of my brain.
The thing that gets me about the WhatsApp groups (I still have one, FINAL child at primary) is when people post saying “so and so has lost his/her cricket bat/violin/netball skort/pencil case/pritt stick, does anyone have it?” and then someone responds “no, we haven’t got it”…..!!!! I mean, WTAF Wendy? If you haven’t got it, please STFU and stay off the godforsaken WhatsApp! Jesus wept it annoys me. The thread which could have been one message in length, is now 12 scrolls deep! Really glad to be away from it for a week. Roll on year 7.
It's RSVP-ing to party invitations on the WhatsApp group that gets me. You have their contact details, please reply privately!
We have the same endless conversations about lost cardigans
This is so funny and spot-on. I also travel for work so have enough of it and just want to be home. We live in London and there are a million amazing things to do, or not. This reminds me also of how I used to obsess over restaurants (like holidays) and now just want to go back to the same five, with the occasional adventure to another part of London.
This made me laugh as (i) my son calls it Wuh Huh Smith (as in phonetically pronouncing the W and H) and (ii) I’ve just booked a holiday today for Oct half term 2025 after being Team UK holidays since our last sunny abroad holiday in Easter 2022 and getting fed up of being cold and doing all the cooking…
😂😂❤️❤️❤️❤️
I have absolutely asked people their holiday plans twice in a week at the school gate. Mortifying! There are so many people doing different pickups on different days and I try not to be cliquey.
Partially I ask about holidays as it is very easy conversation but have also found some total hidden gems: places like Center Parcs but posher or cheaper, what to do if you actually hate skiing, which holidays spending much more money on gives you a much better time (Disney), what to save for teenage years when they will be less enthusiastic.
I’d also love all these tips
Catherine, tips on posher and/or cheaper Center Parcs most welcome! :😂😂
We moved due to my husbands job (vicar) from a very middle class primary school with a lots of social pressure and a disaster WhatsApp group to an excellent state primary in a really deprived area, it was like night and day. Loads of clear communication from school, children encouraged to sort their own stuff out and advocate for themselves. The school gate was also pretty chill with a bit of small talk and mostly people keeping themselves to themselves.
This is very true! But how to escape the endless curated “updates” on Instagram???
I’m deep in primary school territory but friends with secondary school tell me WhatsApp groups persist with equal levels of stupidity / repetition. Sub-groups of people you can stomach and eyes down at pick up / drop offs are my survival strategies. Also, make some all-inclusive, 3* friends. Holiday updates normally more amusing and often involve injuries and alcohol poisoning. My kind of Costa.
Yes to this. It’s not school gate pressure on the holidays, it’s the social media- feels like everyone is on lovely holidays all the time. That said, I don’t ever post on the socials so I can’t really complain
It was a lifeline when it was there but now that the youngest is y10 it's years since I've had to be at one and I don't miss it. I was lucky in the most part to avoid the what's app group which wasn't even a thing for the elder two. I suffered from working mum guilt though so went to a PTA meeting in Reception with my eldest and was sucked in for what felt like forever. PTAs get a lot of rap but we raised 10s of 000s of pounds for our school mostly by selling alcohol to parents. It's the same people who volunteer for everything (at whatever stage in life - you either are a volunteer-er or you're not and that's ok) but that's fine as long as others shell out the cash.
As for holidays I worked with someone whose primary age kids had ranked their favourite Aman resorts and another whose uni aged "marxist" son has a preferred Business class seat on planes. I on the other hand make mine go to the same Welsh cabin every year.
One more thing re groups - there are people that I know moved away/moved schools years ago and they're still on the groups! WHY? surely it's boring AF, our groups certainly aren't a hotbed of gossip and drama.
We had this, some people remained on the group for so long they had to be asked to leave or be removed for safeguarding reasons! I mean why stay on even more what’s app groups? Some people must just love it
This made me smile because I am actually in Iceland with my family. Even though it’s £30 for a coffee and a cake it’s still better value than £8k for some hotel in Italy where I would lie by the pool overeating and thinking I could have a new downstairs toilet for this.
I was amused to see my son watching other parents on the plane. They were insisting on their children practising times tables and spellings out loud for an hour. At one point my boy leant over to me, put down his bag of sour patch kids and kissed me on the arm. I’m taking that win all day long ❤️
I have souvenir shopped to death with my nine year old. Not even going to ask if you have seen the NL. We’re going tonight but forecast is pretty bad.
I am also reading (and enjoying) this from a family holiday in Iceland. £40 for coffee and cake for us 4 this morning 😱.
And definitely not my kids practising times tables on the plane out.
Love that last bit! 😍
Joy x
My school WhatsApp was a life saver…Our class rep was Phillip greens PA. Really lovely lady - hard as nails and super organised. She was amazing and always reminded us of all the dress up days etc. I was one of those crap mums who couldn’t remember anything.
Absolutely brilliant . Funny and true
I have a 2.5 year old and I’m already dreading the school politics. As an introvert it’s my worst nightmare and the fear that you dont want your kids to miss out on friendships if you dont make the effort.
Please can you do a post about how to navigate children’s parties as that is already freaking me out. A friend’s 6 year old got taken to the cinema in a limousine and then 30 kids taken to pizza express afterwards and the mum made everyone a customised snack box 💸
I'll disagree slightly with the posters above and say that some effort is important and actually quite nice. I'm a massive introvert and found school gate far easier than baby/ toddler years. If your child has a friendship issue it is nice for the parents to know that you are perfectly nice/ normal and can sort out any issues in a friendly way. Generally I spoke to people about how nice I thought their children were, then the holidays topic or something about the school lost property system (where is it all going?!). Also, all parents and children are as happy being occupied in a church hall above something fancy.
just don't go
I have had one children's party for my own kids ever. They're not actually obligatory.