47 Comments
User's avatar
Sophia's avatar

I used to bite my nails down to the quick and pick endlessly. Having two prem babies I was cured overnight upon introduction to the NICU’s rigorous hand hygiene routine and the thought that I could harbour some potential danger in crevasses of fingers.

The relentless hot medical soap scrubbing and geling at every touch point round an incubator gave me hands like cheese graters until a wonderful medic introduced me to ‘Nursem’ cream, possibly the silver lining to two NICU stays.

Expand full comment
Kelly's avatar

Esther, what did you / your parents do to help as a child? My 6 year old son - who has likely inherited GAD and ADHD from his father - bites his fingernails AND toenails to the bleeding quick. I'm searching for a child-friendly solution. All manner of bribery attempts have failed, and I want to be kind but also help as it's quite painful for him.

Expand full comment
Kate MV's avatar

I have never EVER picked at my cuticles or bit my nails.

However I am an inveterate nose picker, which is much much much worse… 😳

Expand full comment
Linda P's avatar

My left thumb nail is wonky because of picking at my cuticle and biting the skin around my nail - fgs I’m fifty! I’m currently fighting sugar withdrawal and exam stress courtesy of my youngest. Isn’t Lansinoh nipple cream ?

Expand full comment
Sophie B's avatar

Yes, it is, but it’s also essentially unscented Eight Hour Cream made of lanolin and bloody marvellous for everything.

I wish they’d rebrand it the way Sudocrem stopped advertising its efficacy for ‘napkin rash’ and now calls itself ‘healing cream’ or something dull like that. I have to hide the Nip Cream when my elderly father is around - I’m fifty with no children and he has a terribly dirty mind and will certainly make cringeworthy innuendoes if he spots it …

Expand full comment
Esther's avatar

it is - and it will fix any skin issue from cracked lips to a healing zit. any broken skin basically

Expand full comment
Holly's avatar

I can't believe no one has mentioned ADHD as I understand that finger picking is a common ADHD stim.

Mine is definitely worse if I am stressed and can get to the point that my fingers are so sore and bleeding that it hurts to use them. The ONLY thing that stops me is having gel / BIAB nail polish on and then my nails are too thick to pick effectively so I find I do it much much less and if I do pick it isn't anywhere near as bad . As soon as the polish is off I am right back at it.

Expand full comment
Jules's avatar

Having the exact same problem. As soon as the skin starts to harden around my nails I'm pick pick pick, pull, pick, pull. Until of course there is blood .... then the painful healing. I use skin softener creams constantly, but unless you are a lady of leisure how long do they stick. When I was young I remember sticking toothpicks in-between my teeth until my gums were bleeding. I don't even want to examine this behaviour.

Expand full comment
IB's avatar

I’m a reflexologist and sharp bits aren’t an option, but I sometimes get deep cracks around the sides of my thumb nail when it’s cold which is disproportionately painful. Turns out that the brilliant Blistex relief cream (has to be this exact one, not the Blistex moisturising one) which I’ve been using for years to heal cracked lips, works for fingers too! On at night, can sting a bit in an enjoyable minty medical way, but it magically binds the skin by morning x

Expand full comment
Pip's avatar

Am having nail/cuticle crisis too, mostly caused by over zealous use of cuticle clippers. Which Lansinoh product please:there are so many. Also, has anyone else made the mistake of downloading the Yuka app? It seems practically everything I use is in a race to be the one to kill me.

Expand full comment
Esther's avatar

Lansinoh: just the classic balm in the purple tube. I have also had a recommendation for this hemp cream from the Body Shop. Apparently a funky smell but top results: https://www.thebodyshop.com/en-gb/hands/hand-moisturisers/hemp-hand-protector/p/p000461

Expand full comment
Frances's avatar

I’ve got the hemp hand cream - I’d give it 3/5. It’s ok but not amazing. I probably won’t re-purchase.

Expand full comment
The Mighty Ocsuf's avatar

I do this to my fingers with a gnawing beaver like will. It is especially bad when I'm anxious, I just can't leave hangnails and raggy bits alone. The issue is a) my job involves constant hand washing which is incredibly drying, and b) I don't like the greasy feel of moisturiser on them either, though I do make myself do it these days. I sometimes think the only feasible solution is to just chop my hands off.

Expand full comment
Sophie Michell's avatar

I have trichotillomania, and scalped myself when I was 10. Which is not a good look. Anyway, it transpired some twenty-odd years later than I'm autistic and this is simply how I stim.

(And yes, my parents DID take me to a doctor who simply pronounced me hysterical. In the year of our lord 1996).

Expand full comment
Niffer's avatar

My cuticles are generally ok but my hands are currently really dry to the point of bleeding on some fingers from washing up/general hand washing (plus my nails are also peeling) so I am trying to step up my hand moisturising at the moment. I use Aveeno skin relief for very dry skin - not actually the hand cream, just the regular moisturiser as you get much bigger tubes/bottles (and I reckon it's all the same stuff anyway). I would love to get my nails done more regularly but I find they dry out and peel badly after having nail varnish on for any more than a few days, so wonder if anyone has any other ideas as moisturising can help a bit but maybe there's something else I can do..

For lips, I am addicted (and my kids are now too) to Carmex Classic lip balm in a pot. Anything else lip-balmy dries my lips out so this is what I swear by.

Expand full comment
Jan's avatar

I started taking vitamin D from October to end April and have noticed a significant difference in my nails. Much stronger and healthier looking. As for hand cream yes apply generously. I use Margaret Daabs foot cream which lasts for ages and has turned my scaly lizard feet into soft cat paws. Apply at night and put a wee pair of cotton socks on to sleep. Margaret Daabs does a great hand cream line also.

As an aside avoid like the plague gel manicures. They destroy your nails.

Expand full comment
Lucy Waters's avatar

Another nail biter turned cuticle wrecker here - my nail biting as a child was horrendous, everything always bitten down as far as possible and then some. Transitioned without really noticing to just attacking the cuticles and being able to strip off large pieces of flesh … small bonus seems to be that I’ve developed super human healing powers on my fingers 🤣.

The picking is definitely the outward manifestation of nerves and anxiety - anyone seeing me at work would assume I’m a massive ‘don’t give a F, larger than life, uber confident person’ - where as the pile of bits of skin under my desk tell the true story …. Sorry - TMI - will be buying all the products!!

Expand full comment
Nannynotaproblem's avatar

Dot does this, done it for years. Dot My lovely pal of 60 years I must ask if she still does it

anyhow it led me to my own ‘self harming’ which is called… and I only found this out just now, cause thanks to you, I’ve looked it up. It’s Trichotillomania.

I pull out my eyelashes .. they’re pretty grim without my help.. ie sparse and thin.. well they will be won’t they.

Expand full comment
Kerry's avatar

Does anyone get deep splits in their fingers from the top corner of nails? I am currently using SuperGlue to seal them up - suggested by an ancient clockmaker who swears by it as a solution to the splits and the pain

Expand full comment
Jan's avatar

See a doctor as this could be a sign of certain medical conditions.

Expand full comment
Nicole's avatar

That sounds painful…. I don’t get that but my nails don’t grow very much ever since I had a gel manicure about ten years ago. I’ve stopped having those and take biotin but nothing is helping me. Maybe it’s menopausal..?

Expand full comment
Kerry's avatar

I am seen, oh gosh I truly am stupid and never thought other people feel the way I do about cuticles, the picking and fretting. - I loathe the way hand cream feels on my skin, all slimy and yucky, how do others manage that?

Expand full comment