Listen, tell me I’m credulous if you like, but if planetary alignment and stars and, like, the heavens aren’t a thing, how do you explain the patches of really bad energy that you can slide into? Like the one I’m in right now.
So I need to know which planet deals with bad customer service, because that is the hellhole of cosmic activity draining my life force right now.
Like the useless dude who processed a FedEx thing to Botswana for me last week, (long story), but somehow fucked it up and it is now being held hostage at Johannesburg customs. No bastard FedEx rep can tell me what the matter is or what was wrong with the form I initially filled out, which I filled out UNDER SUPERVISION I MAY ADD. Is the guy who processed the parcel apologetic? Helpful? No. Can you imagine how stressful it is having something precious being held up at customs in a very, very far away country with no idea how to get it out? No-one answers the phone, emails are replied to in no known language 24 hours after you send them. Heap upon all this the fact that shipping this thing cost me a sum of money I am genuinely to embarrassed to say out loud.
Or D- at the Air Conditioning repair place who has so far taken SEVEN MONTHS to order a very small part for a bust air conditioning unit and has failed to reply to my last three emails requesting an engineer visit. I literally just want to pay them money to do their job. Knowing that things like getting an AC unit repaired take time, I started this conversation with D- in September so that the unit would be working in time for Spring. Ha! I rang D- this morning in a surprise attack. “Oh yes,” she said. “I didn’t get back to you.” NO YOU DIDN’T. “I will get back to you by the end of today,” she said. And I believed her like a cretin.
Or the roof guy! FUCK MY LIFE. Can I get someone to clear out the back gutter and fix a few roof tiles and re-align a bust gutter pipe? Can I bollocks. And the reason I know that this is now a planetary matter and not just life is that this guy, my roof guy, is normally so on it. “I’ll come and look at it next week,” he said, three weeks ago.
T- at the carpet place has got a face on him this week, too. Giving me one word answers to my delightful emails, even though, again, all I want to do is very quickly pay him a lot of money in order to re-carpet a room.
What is everyone’s problem?!?!
I really need to discover if it’s Jupiter or Mercury or the Moon or what is causing this chaos and fire a nuclear missile directly into the centre of it.
And it’s not just these specific, massive headaches, it’s everything. As I’m sure you can guess, I am aggressively nice to all front-facing customer service people. They have a hard time in their working life and I want to be the best person they speak to all day because a) I think that’s the way to get what I want and b) I just don’t want to be a jerk. But over the last fortnight or so I have come up against the most unlikeable, unhelpful, rude and weird people - just charmless and impervious to charm.
“Jo” at Cottages.com this morning was a fabulous case in point, being so fucking snotty about my slightly complex holiday rental requirement that needed human help not just some malfunctioning AI bot. I have been to this same cottage rental in Wales every year for three years. I have paid out thousands of pounds to these people, and they treat me like absolute shit EVEN THOUGH I HAD MY BOOKING REFERENCE NUMBER TO HAND. Who does that? Who has their booking reference number to hand? Me, that’s who. And the universe rewards me with fucking attitude.
What am I going to do about this? The temptation is to go full Falling Down on everyone but the paperwork that would generate doesn’t bear thinking about.
I can’t even dive into alcohol because, I don’t mean to brag, but I haven’t had a drink since last Tuesday.
Every so often an alcohol event rolls around that genuinely really puts me off the stuff. It was one of those dinners last Tuesday that triggered it - there was a lot of red wine, which I don’t really like but was drinking anyway. And then there came a point in the evening where I felt really drunk and quite sick and yet thought that the best thing to do was to drink more, that I could somehow drink my way out of my situation. Do you ever get that?
On moving house I decided to canc el Sky Thought that might be an easy process just ring up and cancel. Oh no they harangued me to a point where I had to lie and say I was leaving the country. Woman then went on to ask where I was going , so I made up a story about going in a campervan ( so they couldn’t make me take my subscription with me !) Tbh I quite liked my new made up life !
At the risk of sounding like my (or anyone else’s) mother the service in the UK has gone completely to sh!t since the pandemic. No one seems to want to do anything, even their actual job these days.
My mum (her again) had a leaflet through her door a few weeks back for a handy man claiming to be looking for work. She emailed, called and filled in a form on his website before she got a reply, and then having arranged a date and time he failed to turn up. So clearly not actually looking for work 🤷🏻♀️ don’t get me started on GP surgeries and hospital appointments.
Probably mercury, usually is. Although I think something to do with Aquarius is happen now too??