I remember so well that when we were small we just wanted to watch telly with my mum. She wasn’t big on watching telly so mostly left us to it. I don’t know why we wanted her to watch telly with us, we saw her all the time, she was always around. And she is about 2% annoying to watch TV with because she says things like, “Is this the fellow from before? Or is it a new person?” or “Oh heavens, what’s going to happen to him now?” But that didn’t especially bother us, we just wanted her there.
She was reluctant, she always had to go and do things in the kitchen, turning ovens on, or putting a wash in or seeing to this or that and when we said, “Bollocks to dinner!” or “Forget the washing,” she’d get quite screechy and say, “But when it’s dinner time and it’s not ready you won’t be happy, will you?”
I never understood why she couldn’t just go “fuck it” and put her feet up and watch the box with us. Or read a book! My mother never read fiction because she said that if she found a good book to read we would all starve.
Now, of course - oh ho, now - I totally understand. My children are so desperate for me to watch their various shows with them. Or appreciate niche TikToks or YouTube clips that they have found. When Sam was smaller (but not much) he would come and show me something on an iPad and put his hand on the back of my head, so that I could turn it neither left nor right and had to really look at the thing on the screen. My children hate it when I get my phone out when we’re watching TV and, in a sort of life-full-circle thing find myself getting a bit snappy and saying, “I’ve got stuff to do!”
It’s hard to make time for something as luxurious as watching trashy telly with your kids, especially at the moment. Every year I think that I will be less uptight about Christmas and every year it gets worse. And I am no wild perfectionist, driving myself bonkers decking out my house like it’s Liberty. Every year there’s always a thing somewhere in some newspaper about how you have to give yourself permission to have an “imperfect” Christmas, but I’m not aiming for a perfect Christmas! Literally just a bog standard Christmas is a stretch.
Just getting fiddly work things finished in time, while also making sure everyone has a Christmas jumper for sodding Christmas jumper day and the Ocado orders are arriving in the right places on the right day and that I have re-ordered Sam’s inhalers and paid everyone that needs paying and just the endless life-shite like that, as well as making sure everyone has at least one present that they’re going to be genuinely excited about. There isn’t one single thing in the admin-mill that can go hang or wait until some other time. It’s all important and it all needs to be done now.
I feel quite mad with it all, frankly. I only feel okay when I am writing yet another list, which I will then immediately lose. The work is worrying, but that’s why it’s called “work” and there is time to do it all. But knowing that doesn’t stop me from waking up at 3am and having huge panics about very specific Christmas-related things - but then in the morning I can’t remember what I was worried about.
And yet, one day my children won’t want to watch things with me and so I continue to try and make time for it. Weekends are good. We watched Lightyear altogether the other day. I recommend it.
Esther, I'd say it is worth the irritation and effort. My late mother gamely watched Happy Days and The Partridge Family with us in the late 70s and appeared to enjoy both. Maybe children need or want to have their own nascent tastes recognised/endorsed/validated? But my own mother only took up reading novels after we'd all flown the nest.
Plus, a (former) friend once said to me that it was a good thing I'd never had children because I wouldn't put down a novel to feed them....
I LOVED Lightyear - gonna try and get my kids to watch it with my Dad Tomorrow night. In the meantime- I Somehow Allowed myself to be persuaded into organising the school Winter Fair!?! 😆🤪🥹 It’s On Saturday- and so I will read the Rest of the comments On Monday 😂