I wanted to reward my husband for his immense patience with my absolutely hideous, putty-coloured Archie slides that I wore from May - September 2024, and get them in another colour.
But I didn’t like any of the other colours.
I was thinking khaki green. I could definitely wear slides in khaki green All of my clothes are: light blue, white, black, grey, khaki green, navy so that would work. But Archie said: we don’t have slides in khaki green.
So off I went down a wormhole looking for khaki green slides. And I bought this pair from Birkenstock. They’re fine. Like all Birkenstock’s rubber/plastic iterations, they take a while to soften up every time you put them on, so for the first ten minutes they go “sqwuck, sqwuck, sqwuck” as you walk along. You also can’t walk for miles as they just don’t have the cloudy cushioning softness of Archie. They also say BIRKENSTOCK dorkily across the front and look like you’re wearing an alligator on your foot.
But never mind! I must try not to look fully hideous in front of my husband and so invested in the khaki greens.
And then - and I think you know what happens next: Archie brought out a pair of khaki slides. AAAUUUUGGHH! I’m so annoyed I can barely look at them but here they are.
I mean… so frustrating!! The only thing I can think of immediately worse, but in the same family of frustrating incidents, is when you wash your hair but somehow don’t quite rinse it properly and so have to WASH IT AGAIN.
My readers, my friends. Do not make the same mistake as me. If you don’t already have a pair of Archie slides, get some. If you’re dithering over which pair of khaki slides to get, get the Archies, not the Birkenstocks.
After a particular sort of day, when I slip a socked foot into my Archie slides I feel like this sort of comfort ought not to be allowed.
MESSAGE ENDS
Esther, buy the khaki Archie slides! Life too short for dissatisfaction with shoes…
You need both - special shopping dispensation for travelling! Here is the triptych to complete the set (terrific; highly recommend).
https://www.havaianas-store.com/gb/en/havaianas-slides-classic/4147258-OLIVE_GREEN.html
At first reading, I feared *Archie* was the newest addition to Meghan Markle's grifter (As Ever) gig. TF I don't have to unsubscribe 'cos I love The Spike.