Summer travel essentials

and the EES system: WTF

Oh god, here it comes again: the end of term... looming like an enormous brick wall, if brick walls were made from catering responsibilities and floppy teenagers.

This year I have insisted on two weeks in Pembrokeshire in Wales, because it’s my favourite place in the world and then later on, we are going to Greece for ten days.

I have sworn off Greece in recent years because it was just too hot. But my children are now capable of adjusting to a Greek schedule of sitting in air-con from 11am until 4pm.

You know how much I love a list, in order to both calm but also ratchet up my anxiety, so here’s what to take.

Before you even start packing:

I have looked very hard and found that the best rucksack is the Kipling Seoul Lap. It is roomy but not enormous and has sensible storage sections, including a section for your laptop and an uppermost zipped pouch for your sunglasses. Ignore the silly monkey dongle, you can remove that.

I also love this EastPak Travelpack, which is one of those suitcase/rucksack hybrids and converts to be carried on the back or in the hand. It has two zipped compartments, plus a padded sleeve for a laptop. It holds a huge amount and I love it a great deal.

TOP TIP

Write your family’s first names on the outside of your passports, which saves time when handing them out.

If you haven’t been away yet this year and are off to Europe, you will encounter the absolute shitshow that is the EES (entry-exit system) that now exists across the ‘Schengen Area’. This is a phrase I’ve never heard until this year and it means the 29 country border-free area in Europe that no longer includes the U.K.

You have to fiddle about at individual machines at Border Control, inputting biometric and other data - and if it worked it would be fine. But it doesn’t, at least not reliably. And when it doesn’t and you end up on the other side of a country border from your confused and alarmed child, it’s a total bastard.

This year we have travelled to Italy and Spain and Sam’s passport has not worked at any of the booths, both times, and I can only assume it will fail to work in Greece, too. If this happens to you my advice is to appeal charmingly, in your best lingo, to the border control official sitting in the plexiglass box, rather than the airport staff.

The airport staff don’t care if you live or die, but the border control officials all plainly think the new system is unspeakable bullshit and are more likely to sort you out.

The deployment of the EES in Europe this summer seems to be an ever-changing situation so have a quick google before you take off. I think May half term opened many eyes to the fact that there will be chaos unless they can either fix the system or be flexible.

Moving on!

THINGS TO HAVE IN YOUR CABIN BAG

A baseball cap

I now understand why everyone at the airport is wearing a baseball cap: they are very good for plane travel as you can pull it down over your eyes and doze and it shields you from the terrible lighting. If you have always found that you look bad in baseball caps, (I do), you might try a trucker-style, like this one.

A slim roll of compost bags

We generate a shameful amount of rubbish when travelling and I can’t bear it littering the car, the train, or airplane seats so I take compost bags to keep things tidy. Also a packet of Wet Wipes, even if you’re travelling with grown-ups. Sticky hands are so gross.

A reusable bag

For buying lunch at the airport before your flight. One of those slithery packable ones are best, but a thin cotton one works, too. I have too many of these to consider buying a new one, but I love this from Dock&Bay, which can be used as a beach bag, too.

Kit for very small children

My children can now entertain themselves on journeys but my question for you is - if you have smaller children are there any new and wonderful gadgets or tricks that you deploy? If so, please let us know about them in the handy comment box at the end.

THINGS IN YOUR HOLD LUGGAGE

Star stickers

Yes, like they use in schools. These are very useful to differentiate hotel room keys if you have booked more than one room. Saves minutes of your life tapping first one card on the handle, then the other.

Sandals

I am so fed up with Havaianas - the look of them, the sound. And the slight decline in manufacturing quality, meaning that the toe post pops out six months after you’ve bought them. This year I am living in these Tevas, which are SO comfy and have had many admiring looks and enquiries.

A note on chargers: I have called ahead to our hotel to ask if they have ports where you can plug your charger directly into the wall - and they do! This will save me messing about with enough adapters and charge plugs for 4 people.

Zip-Loc bags

Many, many hotels openly expect you to make your lunch from the breakfast buffet - a few ZipLoc bags will help with toting your creations around.

Packable hat

It’s not that I worry about looking like a dork wearing my fedora to the airport, it’s that I know I will lose it. So I have this packable one.

This is not me

BEACH KIT

If you have younger children, I highly recommend:

Day-glo hats and rashies - if they like to go for a wander, as Kitty did and still does, it’s nice to be able to locate a bright orange hat or top amongst the rocks or paddle-waves.

This is helped along enormously by a pair of binoculars. Binoculars blow my mind every time I use them and I’d say they are vital on a beach. My last pair broke and so I upgraded to this pair and I love them.

This anti-chafe gel for wetsuits.

Talcum powder, to get sticky wet sand off feet

Safari hats

Sometimes for children only a massive wide-brim thing will do. We have used these so much over the years - of course they wouldn’t be seen dead in front of their friends in these, but are grateful for them in high sun/heat.

I also have for each child a pair of inexpensive sporty sunglasses with UV protection (literally from Boots). When my children were very small they refused to wear sunglasses but now they are older and have experienced the sweet relief of not having to squint, they're quite into them.

CLOTHES

The inferno we are living through is actually very useful for concentrating the mind as to what you really want to wear when it’s blistering hot.

I believe in packing very light on holiday, as I regard it as much a break from my stuff as it is from everything else. If you are a heavy packer and go on holiday IN ORDER to show off all your lovely clothes, (which is fine! why not?), perhaps don’t bother to read this section.

To Greece I will take three swimsuits - one green, one blue, one brown - and with them a co-ordinating sarong (when did everyone start calling sarongs “pareos”?). I will take beach trousers and a sleeveless top for travelling. These trousers from Amazon were a life saver in Costa Rica last year, where it was not only very hot and humid, but livid with mosquitoes. We have plain pairs in black, red and navy blue.

I always take a very light cotton robe dish-dash type thing, a bit like this, to keep for wearing strictly after a shower and before dinner so it remains unsullied by sunscreen or mosquito repellant.

I will also take at least one linen shirt from Rails, which are expensive but really lovely to wear when it’s boiling. Go one size up for breeziness.

For the evening, I will take two all-black outfits and a bag of jazzy jewellery. No-one will notice or care that you are rotating two outfits with the different earrings. Consider long trousers and shirts at dinner because in Europe you will be eaten alive by mosquitoes. Don’t skimp on repellant.

I don't kid myself that I’m going sight-seeing or to a smart lunch. I pack for breakfast, pool / beach and dinner. That’s it.

If you’re staying in hotels, don’t rush to take many white items, unless you’re okay with spending literally all your money on laundry.

One more thing: in the summer Sam lives in slithery Nike Dri-Fit sports kits sets. I obviously disapprove of sports kit on holiday but a matching set of Dri-Fits is a lot better than a QPR shirt and a random pair of shorts.

It can be irritatingly tricky to track down a top and bottom in a matching colour and size but you want to search for ‘Nike Dri-Fit Academy T-Shirt’ and ‘Nike Dri-Fit Academy Shorts’. I’ve linked to Next, but you can also find them at the Nike website and e.g. Sports Direct and so on.

For size reference, Sam is 5 feet 5 inches tall, feet UK size 7. He is at the skinny bean stage of adolescence and takes a Men’s M in this.

SUMMER READING

I will keep this short and direct: if you haven’t already, read -

The Calamity Club by Kathryn Stockett. An absolute tome, 600+ pages of rip-roaring saga, which will keep you glued to your sun-bed and entertained for the entire outwards and return flight.

Famesick by Lena Dunham. Even if you never saw a single episode of Girls, (me! never saw it!), this book is a gripping account of the rollercoaster ride of extreme success and fame.

And my book is out in paperback on July 16th! Just in time for take-off.

Over to you! The HIVE MIND. Please let us know any genius travel items/ideas that you deploy or have come across recently. We are all listening.

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