My two daughters (19 months between) do get on famously and I'm eternally grateful for that. They have a tendency to gang up on me though. Which isn't fun and has, on occasion, meant some spectacular rows. I think the eldest (referred to as "The Practice Child" because essentially she was) is the most easy going person I've ever met, and that helps a great deal. Stereotypically the younger daughter is the one who would help me bury a body, no questions asked.
I only have one child so can't comment on human rivalries but if I talk to the cat, the dog rushes over and shoves the cat out of the way to be petted in his stead.....
I always respond to the who’s my favourite child with “the one who’s not with me”. They laugh now (19 and 16) but were genuinely confused when they were small.
I pulled a prank on my brother recently and changed the contact name ID on my number in my Mum’s phone to “Favourite Child.” When it popped up at lunch when I drop called her he went ballistic and insisted she change it “immediately!”
I am 35 and he is 32. It doesn’t get better I’m afraid.
I have a twelve year old daughter and she manages to get annoyed when she perceives I am showing more love to the dog than her despite her only sporadically showing me affection now!! Proper only child stuff. However to be honest, the dog gratefully receives my affection 100% of the time so she is probably my first port of call for a cuddle these days.
I have 3 younger brothers and whilst sibling rivalry not a thing due to age gaps / difference in interests, the eating-your-dinner-fast thing was very real in our house growing up
Not so much rivalry between my brother and I ourselves, as that created between us by my parents. He is the prodigal son despite moving to Australia over 25 years ago. I do not even bother to “compete” however guess who gets to deal with our elderly mother now (clue, not him)
My boys are 12 and 14 and get on well now but it was awful when they were small. My Dad once offered to bring one of them a pheasant tail feather from the next time he went beating and I literally screamed at him, “TWO FEATHERS! TWO IDENTICAL FEATHERS!”
They still ask constantly who is the favourite child and the answer is always their “sister” the dog. Although I do occasionally award temporary favourite child status as a bribe, because they’ll do literally anything to get it and then crow like mad.
My sister and I were so competitive we’ve had to live polar opposite lives as adults to avoid comparing ourselves in any facet whatsoever.
My younger brother and I were fierce rivals growing up mainly because my mother always favoured him(which he now admits). I was determined my children would not have the same fate hoping that by trying to really focus on them each as individuals I would create an environment where they might both secretly feel that they were my favourite. This Has Not Worked. Their constant refrain is that the other one is my favourite. May need to consider the dog option..
I looked up to my brother, growing up we had different hobbies but if we were doing the same thing I assumed he'd be better than me at it. As adults, he was more sorted with career, finances etc. It shouldn't matter but I felt a bit smug when I was the first to get married and have a child. Sibling relationships be funny things!
The only siblings I know who have not ostensibly argued, are those whose parents are divorced and there has sadly been a tricky time, where they’ve relied on each other significantly - the us against the world thing. Interestingly my brother and I have disliked each other at different levels intermittently for years, but his divorce has meant we are much closer, he is much less of an arse and I am very pleased.
My 3 teenage boys (3.5 years between top and bottom) bicker and occasionally go to a rather half hearted fisticuffs but there is a whole ganging up thing with two against one. Very tiring and tiresome. I think (hope) they like each other sometimes, but luckily they are all quite different which means they can do their own thing and not compete. It really upsets me when they are beastly to each other and I am pretty fierce about having each other’s backs. Even I wouldn’t let anyone else be rude about my brother!
I have 3 children who, I guess fortunately, aren't shitty at the same time. There's an unspoken rule of passing the baton of bad behaviour. The ONLY time any will offer to empty the dishwasher is when another is in a LOT of trouble. Opportunists, all three. Less acutely than when they were small, they are still often two against one, though alliances shift. Tbf I have one brother with whom I have almost no relationship, so however vile they are to one another, I take some (perhaps false) comfort in the knowledge that they're interacting.....
My sister and I hated each other. No, that isn’t too strong a word. There’s only the two of us, with 14 months between us. Apparently, she tried to bite me when I arrived home from the cottage hospital. Interestingly, we were both ‘one and done’ with our own children. We haven’t spoken for about 20 years, so it isn’t so much rivalry as alienation now. I think some people are lucky with siblings and some are not. It’s just the way it is. I did read a piece recently that made the case for all siblings inherently disliking each other but it’s up to the parents to foster harmony somehow.
I have three children, all just shy of two years apart. The alliances are complex and ever changing, and I am the victim if I get it wrong and presume to tell one of them off within that alliance, then the other will pile in on me. The eldest two, nearly 15 and nearly 13, can be so mean and horrible to each other when they argue. They pick on each others biggest insecurities in a way that seems so cruel. But then they're fine again moments later. Maybe it's building resilience? Maybe it's teaching them where the boundaries of normal arguments can go? Surely surely it must be teaching them some life skill to be so monstrous to each other?! My youngest gets accusations of having it easy, as if the older two have had it so hard in their very protected, privileged lives!
My kids' East End childminder says of them "they love hard, and they fight hard". The fighting drives me to my very last nerve. It is a combination of boring and annoying that I just find entirely intolerable. I've been reading so much lately about how to tackle it, and am doing various sensible things but I can't say anything is particularly working. I think it is the hard-wired competition for love and food that drives it, but God, I can't stand it.
My two daughters (19 months between) do get on famously and I'm eternally grateful for that. They have a tendency to gang up on me though. Which isn't fun and has, on occasion, meant some spectacular rows. I think the eldest (referred to as "The Practice Child" because essentially she was) is the most easy going person I've ever met, and that helps a great deal. Stereotypically the younger daughter is the one who would help me bury a body, no questions asked.
I only have one child so can't comment on human rivalries but if I talk to the cat, the dog rushes over and shoves the cat out of the way to be petted in his stead.....
I always respond to the who’s my favourite child with “the one who’s not with me”. They laugh now (19 and 16) but were genuinely confused when they were small.
I pulled a prank on my brother recently and changed the contact name ID on my number in my Mum’s phone to “Favourite Child.” When it popped up at lunch when I drop called her he went ballistic and insisted she change it “immediately!”
I am 35 and he is 32. It doesn’t get better I’m afraid.
I have a twelve year old daughter and she manages to get annoyed when she perceives I am showing more love to the dog than her despite her only sporadically showing me affection now!! Proper only child stuff. However to be honest, the dog gratefully receives my affection 100% of the time so she is probably my first port of call for a cuddle these days.
I have 3 younger brothers and whilst sibling rivalry not a thing due to age gaps / difference in interests, the eating-your-dinner-fast thing was very real in our house growing up
Not so much rivalry between my brother and I ourselves, as that created between us by my parents. He is the prodigal son despite moving to Australia over 25 years ago. I do not even bother to “compete” however guess who gets to deal with our elderly mother now (clue, not him)
This is so funny and familiar!
I had thought I was alone.
My youngest grandchild gets upset is there’s another grandchild’s photo on my phone.
My boys are 12 and 14 and get on well now but it was awful when they were small. My Dad once offered to bring one of them a pheasant tail feather from the next time he went beating and I literally screamed at him, “TWO FEATHERS! TWO IDENTICAL FEATHERS!”
They still ask constantly who is the favourite child and the answer is always their “sister” the dog. Although I do occasionally award temporary favourite child status as a bribe, because they’ll do literally anything to get it and then crow like mad.
My sister and I were so competitive we’ve had to live polar opposite lives as adults to avoid comparing ourselves in any facet whatsoever.
My younger brother and I were fierce rivals growing up mainly because my mother always favoured him(which he now admits). I was determined my children would not have the same fate hoping that by trying to really focus on them each as individuals I would create an environment where they might both secretly feel that they were my favourite. This Has Not Worked. Their constant refrain is that the other one is my favourite. May need to consider the dog option..
I looked up to my brother, growing up we had different hobbies but if we were doing the same thing I assumed he'd be better than me at it. As adults, he was more sorted with career, finances etc. It shouldn't matter but I felt a bit smug when I was the first to get married and have a child. Sibling relationships be funny things!
The only siblings I know who have not ostensibly argued, are those whose parents are divorced and there has sadly been a tricky time, where they’ve relied on each other significantly - the us against the world thing. Interestingly my brother and I have disliked each other at different levels intermittently for years, but his divorce has meant we are much closer, he is much less of an arse and I am very pleased.
My 3 teenage boys (3.5 years between top and bottom) bicker and occasionally go to a rather half hearted fisticuffs but there is a whole ganging up thing with two against one. Very tiring and tiresome. I think (hope) they like each other sometimes, but luckily they are all quite different which means they can do their own thing and not compete. It really upsets me when they are beastly to each other and I am pretty fierce about having each other’s backs. Even I wouldn’t let anyone else be rude about my brother!
Ha ha sorry to disappoint you but mine (boy 37, girl 33) are still at it!
I have 3 children who, I guess fortunately, aren't shitty at the same time. There's an unspoken rule of passing the baton of bad behaviour. The ONLY time any will offer to empty the dishwasher is when another is in a LOT of trouble. Opportunists, all three. Less acutely than when they were small, they are still often two against one, though alliances shift. Tbf I have one brother with whom I have almost no relationship, so however vile they are to one another, I take some (perhaps false) comfort in the knowledge that they're interacting.....
My sister and I hated each other. No, that isn’t too strong a word. There’s only the two of us, with 14 months between us. Apparently, she tried to bite me when I arrived home from the cottage hospital. Interestingly, we were both ‘one and done’ with our own children. We haven’t spoken for about 20 years, so it isn’t so much rivalry as alienation now. I think some people are lucky with siblings and some are not. It’s just the way it is. I did read a piece recently that made the case for all siblings inherently disliking each other but it’s up to the parents to foster harmony somehow.
I have three children, all just shy of two years apart. The alliances are complex and ever changing, and I am the victim if I get it wrong and presume to tell one of them off within that alliance, then the other will pile in on me. The eldest two, nearly 15 and nearly 13, can be so mean and horrible to each other when they argue. They pick on each others biggest insecurities in a way that seems so cruel. But then they're fine again moments later. Maybe it's building resilience? Maybe it's teaching them where the boundaries of normal arguments can go? Surely surely it must be teaching them some life skill to be so monstrous to each other?! My youngest gets accusations of having it easy, as if the older two have had it so hard in their very protected, privileged lives!
being from a family with 3 or more siblings really teaches you about diplomacy
My kids' East End childminder says of them "they love hard, and they fight hard". The fighting drives me to my very last nerve. It is a combination of boring and annoying that I just find entirely intolerable. I've been reading so much lately about how to tackle it, and am doing various sensible things but I can't say anything is particularly working. I think it is the hard-wired competition for love and food that drives it, but God, I can't stand it.