Memo

books, collagen, face tanner

My completely anecdotal and unscientific theory is that collagen drinks don’t work for everyone. But they do work for some. How else can you explain the deep divide? I see some women genuinely furious with the “industry” for selling “snake oil”. Then I see other women in their fifties, glowing, who say, “I taken collagen every day”.

I am a collagen believer. Taking collagen works, in theory, like this: the collagen gets into your bloodstream via the gut lining, which gives your body the idea to make more collagen on its own.

My only problem with collagen has been how to get it in to me. I can’t stand taking pills and most collagen drinks aren’t very nice. Then I came across Rejuvenated, thanks to my colleagues over at The Trowel. This is a berry-flavoured powder that can be mixed with water into a small or large shot, which you knock back on an empty stomach. Very efficient and makes a huge difference to me. I think my face looks better and my knees no longer hurt in the morning. You can scoff if you like. But I encourage you, if you’ve never tried collagen, give this a whirl: you will know if you are one of the people it works for you within 6 weeks. But you must take it every day on an empty stomach and not just sometimes, when you remember, mere moments after finishing a pizza.

I recently really enjoyed How To Lose Your Mother, Molly Jong Fast’s book about her mother, Erica Jong. It is a brilliant, absolutely savage book about her neglected childhood and reminded me afresh why it is important to try hard to be a good and consistent parent. I also read The Book of George by Kate Greathead. This is very brilliantly-written, in a style that I very much aspire to. My one complaint is that, in trying to avoid all cliché, Greathead hasn’t made this book a story. It’s a narrative, but not a story.

I saw online an author complaining about the fact that publishers are always demanding that a book be a “journey” and characters have to go on this rotten, blasted “journey”. The abhorrence of the journey thing is because writers like to ramble on without having to fuss about with a plot that feels embarrassing and clichéd in its construction and execution. But the problem is, if you don’t do that, you get a book that trundles along and then just randomly ends, leaving the reader thinking “Well, that was a waste of my time.” Really great fiction gets a structured plot in, (aka a “journey”), while making the prose still feel like it’s unfettered and free-flowing.

Another quick re-recommendation, if it passed you by, for The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley. This is not a new book but I absolutely loved it. There is such a tidal wave of fresh books coming through all the time that it would be easy to miss gems - don’t miss this one.

What is a more scary prospect than self-tan for the face? I mean, Christ, that could go really wrong, couldn’t it? Well, not this one, which is called Dusk to Dawn by that master of tanning, James Read. I am about as cack-handed and impatient as they come and this is absolutely fail-safe. Like all James Read products, it is extremely subtle and also contains hyaluronic acid and Vitamin E, so when you wake up your skin isn’t only very subtly tanned, it’s also been plumped up a bit. Hard recommend. Top tip: when applying, don’t skip out your brow bone - that bit just under your eyebrows, that’s the trick for an even more real-looking finish. Also: get it on your face a good hour before bedtime so it has a chance to sink into your face and not into your pillow.

Just one bit of housekeeping: I am, as you know, anxious not to bore you all to death with repeated bleats about the upcoming publication of my debut novel, but can I just ask all keen readers to start just thinking about leaving a review online?

Waterstones, Amazon, Goodreads. It doesn’t matter where. I don’t mean now, as it’s not out yet, but come September if you could be ready to hit that button, it would be a tangibly valuable thing you are doing.

When you are 40+ it doesn’t really occur to us how important leaving a review is or a like is - it feels like tossing a dot into the raging inferno of the internet but in fact it’s extremely important.

It doesn’t have to be a 5 star review or even long. Three stars and the comment “This book was fine” will feed the hungry algorithm and make a huge difference.

I was listening to the radio this morning about petty revenge stories after an outgoing priest wrote a poem about the awfulness of his congregation on his retirement. Someone added a story about how the outgoing Clinton administration removed all the “Ws” on the West Wing keyboards. I absolutely love stuff like this: do you have a petty revenge story to share? Please amuse us all by leaving a comment in the handy box below.