I’ll be 68 in December. You think and feel differently as you age. Looking after my health is number one, as I want to continue living independently. I have a full and happy life, do pretty much what I want, have fun and love clothes. I feel more ‘myself’ than at any other time in my life. That may change in my 70s, who knows. Meanwhile I’ll take what I have now. And I’m not afraid or ashamed to be a crone. I just don’t care!
Esther - I am 61 now so have experienced looking in the mirror and noticing lines that seem to appear overnight. I am lucky enough to have kept my shape at size 8-10 and also managed to escape child rearing with no stretch marks! However- one of my best friends died a few years back from breast cancer and every time I wish I looked younger, firmer and all of those things that go with youthfulness I do feel grateful that I have actually got to this age and have the marks of such - the alternative is much less good. There are also many examples of beauty treatments that result in anything but…..
Forgot to say that the Menopause can make you angry and sometimes alot less tolerant ( hormonal imbalsnce and then losing two main hormones that made you ..you) and so Men probably get the impression that women of a certain age are difficult...If you are young and pretty you do get away with behaving a certain way ..not so if you are over 45!
I am 57. I am lucky in that I have had a physical job so have kept to a reasonable weight and am a size 10 to 12. I am also lucky that I looked alot younger than my age until a few years ago (my dad's side of the family all aged really well. The Menopause is absolute sh....t and He..... though!! Started for me at 45😩 I put up with 6 horrendous and worsening symptoms for 2 long years until I was put on HRT...never looked back. All my symptoms went within a few weeks. My skin looked better and my hair and no achy joints and I got my memory back !! Estrogen helps build collagen which also helps cartillege between joints. I do think that your inner happiness shines through even if you have a few lines but yes a sagging face and a face full of lines is not a good look but there are exercises and laser treatments that can help with this....or a face lift!! Definitely will read the book though...
I'm 42 and have been single for 3 years since my 20 year olf marriage broke down! I'm having the time of my life and even if I turn 88, I'm still going to rock up at my PT session in lycra and dance on tables. That's my motto. Fuck the nay-sayers!
When it did happen which is gradual but strangely swift, you need to qualify the situation. Your friends and family are all aging, so wouldn't it look weird if you didn't. If you've experienced a parent dying young (hands up) then it changes your perspective. And know on all levels that men never have the amount of stress and responsibility that involves managing a house and family, plus for some a career. That's enough to send you barmy and add a few more lines on forehead. Personally I'm always going to dye my hair and wear makeup cos it makes me feel good. Nothing so aging than a grey bob, unkempt eyebrows and yellow teeth, if that's your concern. If it isn't then bloody go for it.
I think I'm just enough Hag to counter-act the parts that still feel like a Manic Pixie Teenager. Hopefully the balance works out somewhere around my real age. Physically, it just is what it is and that'll do, pig.
I like midlife (44). I think it suits my personality. I don’t like creamy knees, no pelvic floor and my thickening waist but I still looking pretty ok when I make an effort, and I really, really enjoy having experience to think ‘fuck this’ and enough self awareness to know what is and isnt going to work for me. It’s such a relief not pretending to be something else.
I like listening to extremely geeky podcasts in Waitrose and thinking, why yes I am a politics nerd, too bad!
10 years ago (when I was, ahem, 30 something) my male 45 year old colleague was having an absolute glory of a mid-life crisis - flashy car, spontaneous nights out all over the place, lads holidays - the works. He even snogged someone at the Christmas party. I asked him - so what’s Claire (his wife) doing with her midlife crisis? And he said flippantly “oh women don’t have mid-life crises. They just get really angry”!!!! Now, he wasn’t even a dick. I liked him. He was being funny and silly, but it made me determined not to JUST get angry. And I’ve got to say from my great 40-something height, I like being my age. I fully appreciate that I am not that attractive and no one thinks I’m cool, apart from me when I’m listening to Dizzee Rascall in Waitrose, but weirdly in my head I like myself more and just feel lucky to be alive, to have the experiences I have, to live in a relatively gentle, funny and kind society. And I don’t really care if people actually think I’m a tragic old lady. I actually find the difference quite funny. I think the most important thing is trying to be relatively healthy and a bit selfish and block out the noise. Who gives a fuck if the bloke at the check out thinks I’m a loser!? No one ever really knows what anyone else thinks of them anyway!
Jesus! I'm 60. After Hag comes Crone.... My mother died at 37 from breast cancer. I didn't expect to see my kids grow up because I thought it might happen to me. Don't cut your hair and don't fucking dye it either. Thanks for all the great writing. You're amazing.
I’ll be 68 in December. You think and feel differently as you age. Looking after my health is number one, as I want to continue living independently. I have a full and happy life, do pretty much what I want, have fun and love clothes. I feel more ‘myself’ than at any other time in my life. That may change in my 70s, who knows. Meanwhile I’ll take what I have now. And I’m not afraid or ashamed to be a crone. I just don’t care!
Esther - I am 61 now so have experienced looking in the mirror and noticing lines that seem to appear overnight. I am lucky enough to have kept my shape at size 8-10 and also managed to escape child rearing with no stretch marks! However- one of my best friends died a few years back from breast cancer and every time I wish I looked younger, firmer and all of those things that go with youthfulness I do feel grateful that I have actually got to this age and have the marks of such - the alternative is much less good. There are also many examples of beauty treatments that result in anything but…..
Forgot to say that the Menopause can make you angry and sometimes alot less tolerant ( hormonal imbalsnce and then losing two main hormones that made you ..you) and so Men probably get the impression that women of a certain age are difficult...If you are young and pretty you do get away with behaving a certain way ..not so if you are over 45!
I am 57. I am lucky in that I have had a physical job so have kept to a reasonable weight and am a size 10 to 12. I am also lucky that I looked alot younger than my age until a few years ago (my dad's side of the family all aged really well. The Menopause is absolute sh....t and He..... though!! Started for me at 45😩 I put up with 6 horrendous and worsening symptoms for 2 long years until I was put on HRT...never looked back. All my symptoms went within a few weeks. My skin looked better and my hair and no achy joints and I got my memory back !! Estrogen helps build collagen which also helps cartillege between joints. I do think that your inner happiness shines through even if you have a few lines but yes a sagging face and a face full of lines is not a good look but there are exercises and laser treatments that can help with this....or a face lift!! Definitely will read the book though...
I'm 42 and have been single for 3 years since my 20 year olf marriage broke down! I'm having the time of my life and even if I turn 88, I'm still going to rock up at my PT session in lycra and dance on tables. That's my motto. Fuck the nay-sayers!
When it did happen which is gradual but strangely swift, you need to qualify the situation. Your friends and family are all aging, so wouldn't it look weird if you didn't. If you've experienced a parent dying young (hands up) then it changes your perspective. And know on all levels that men never have the amount of stress and responsibility that involves managing a house and family, plus for some a career. That's enough to send you barmy and add a few more lines on forehead. Personally I'm always going to dye my hair and wear makeup cos it makes me feel good. Nothing so aging than a grey bob, unkempt eyebrows and yellow teeth, if that's your concern. If it isn't then bloody go for it.
I think I'm just enough Hag to counter-act the parts that still feel like a Manic Pixie Teenager. Hopefully the balance works out somewhere around my real age. Physically, it just is what it is and that'll do, pig.
Mentally, I fear I am about 90% hag. Physically, far less hag, aside from the endless saga of my fucking ovaries sticking to new places.
I like midlife (44). I think it suits my personality. I don’t like creamy knees, no pelvic floor and my thickening waist but I still looking pretty ok when I make an effort, and I really, really enjoy having experience to think ‘fuck this’ and enough self awareness to know what is and isnt going to work for me. It’s such a relief not pretending to be something else.
I like listening to extremely geeky podcasts in Waitrose and thinking, why yes I am a politics nerd, too bad!
10 years ago (when I was, ahem, 30 something) my male 45 year old colleague was having an absolute glory of a mid-life crisis - flashy car, spontaneous nights out all over the place, lads holidays - the works. He even snogged someone at the Christmas party. I asked him - so what’s Claire (his wife) doing with her midlife crisis? And he said flippantly “oh women don’t have mid-life crises. They just get really angry”!!!! Now, he wasn’t even a dick. I liked him. He was being funny and silly, but it made me determined not to JUST get angry. And I’ve got to say from my great 40-something height, I like being my age. I fully appreciate that I am not that attractive and no one thinks I’m cool, apart from me when I’m listening to Dizzee Rascall in Waitrose, but weirdly in my head I like myself more and just feel lucky to be alive, to have the experiences I have, to live in a relatively gentle, funny and kind society. And I don’t really care if people actually think I’m a tragic old lady. I actually find the difference quite funny. I think the most important thing is trying to be relatively healthy and a bit selfish and block out the noise. Who gives a fuck if the bloke at the check out thinks I’m a loser!? No one ever really knows what anyone else thinks of them anyway!
Jesus! I'm 60. After Hag comes Crone.... My mother died at 37 from breast cancer. I didn't expect to see my kids grow up because I thought it might happen to me. Don't cut your hair and don't fucking dye it either. Thanks for all the great writing. You're amazing.