We were driving along the other day, on our way back from visiting a couple where she is very In Charge and he is very compliant.
“It’s weird,” said Giles, honking the car horn loudly and then running a red light, “because Dads usually represent some sort of anarchic presence.”
Interesting, I thought. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you know. Either they’re just a bit chaotic and risk-takey with the kids when it comes to learning to swim or riding a bike or jumping off a swing, or they encourage children to break mum’s boring rules, or they’re violent alcoholics. You know, they bring chaos somehow. And X isn’t like that at all. It’s just strange.”
I was really struck by this. Mostly because Giles doesn’t really tend to offer such observations. You may think that living with him means my life is wall-to-wall bon mots and jokes. But the domestic reality is that what I mostly hear from him is 1) “Have you fed the cat?” 2) I’m looking for my wallet 3) What time is Sam’s pick up today? Then various other things about whether or not he ought to go for a run or a shower. What are my drinking plans this evening? Dinner?
It’s pretty prosaic stuff. Often I wonder if there’s anything profound going on in his head at all. I mostly find out what he is thinking about the same way you do - by reading about it in the paper.
So I thought this observation was sort of miraculous. And also, so true. It got me thinking about how the things that grind mums’ gears about their husbands is quite often this anarchic, chaotic flavour that dads bring to the house. The leaving without a coat, the “character-forming” death-defying stunts in playgrounds and so on. My friend Henry once allowed two of his children to be swept down a river on a fast current on paddle boards so that they would “learn about fast currents in rivers”. They were fine, never in any danger. He followed them on a canoe, lecturing them as they wept and clung to their boards. But still.
I think perhaps this pinch of chaos is a good thing. Up to a point, of course.
The press is awash at the moment with £60 skin creams to counter-act the aggressively drying effects of cold weather and central heating. I must say I’ve never had a problem with this in life up until now, but this autumn and winter I have been struck by how quickly my skin started disintegrating.
So I turned to Avène’s Cicalfete+ Protective Cream, which is £7.12 at Boots at the moment. I have been using it for about a week and it’s really great stuff. Much too thick and creamy for the summer, but just right for now. I use it morning and evening and I really think it is helping - and hasn’t made me break out, which is a miracle.
Use a hazel-nut sized blob, rub it briskly between your palms and then pat your hands over your face. You will now freak out and think that it is going to leave a white cast, like SPF 50 from 1986. It will not, it will melt into your face and vanish in 90 seconds. A very nice base for make-up.
An only slightly-related question for you: my eyes are quite red, sore and tired at the moment even though I am sleeping okay and not especially staring at a computer screen much. I don't feel like we have the heating on high enough in our house for it to the central heating but what else can it be? I look like I’ve got myxomatosis.
Any clues?? Do feel free to leave your unscientific non-medical ideas in the handy box below. I feel like the right eyedrops might sort it out?
Thank you very much to all sore eyes recommendations. Last night I got rid of all potions/pills/creams I have been using for the last week, used a heated eye mask and cleaned eyes with Clinisept and eyes feel way better this morning. Wonderful to see a hive mind in action! xx
The blue eyedrops from Boots! I lived in Australia and we don't have them but I stock up whenever I'm back there.