Bed linen

who TF do Piglet in Bed think they are

I brag to myself that I’m the sort of person who spends a lot of money on bedlinen. And indeed, there is a rotation of premium White Company threads on my bed.

But then I was up in Kitty’s room the other day and suddenly realised that she has three sets of quite worn-out, mismatched patchy stuff. One of her three duvet covers - (one on the bed, one in the wash, one in the drawer) - is a gloomy two-tone grey thing with a huge black ink stain on it, leftover from my husband’s bachelor days.

I mean, true, Kitty doesn’t give AF about stuff like that. She wants medium-brow contemporary literature, snacks and to be left alone. Not interested in: make-up, clothes, bed linen.

But she also freaked me out a bit the other week while I was musing to her about the responsibilities you have as a parent. I said, “The incredible thing about children is that they endlessly forgive their parents.” My point being that it’s important not to take advantage of that.

“Of course we forgive our parents,” she said, snappily. “What choice do we have? We are completely dependent on you.”

I paused my teacup on my lower lip. I’d never thought about it quite like that.

So it was in this spirit that I vowed to treat Kitty to a new set of bedlinen, to replace the ugly two-tone bachelor horror. But as I looked at The White Company, Cologne and Cotton, John Lewis and so on I was overcome with a crushing ennui. Just acres of white, white, white… blearrghhh… more white. How dull. And also impossible to the apart in the wash. How about something jazzy? To lift the spirits and also tell easily apart from all the other acres of white.

I decided to have a look at Piglet in Bed, as it is endlessly advertised to me on social media. John Lewis also stock it and that’s a good sign isn’t it. But, oh my god, £189 for a double duvet cover! Are they mad? The duvet set bundle even with a 15% offered discount was £253.93. Just who the hell do they think they are?!